A big part of being happy, making plans, and follow a path is to know yourself. Every time that I write here I say: oh, I will be back. And then, I don’t. In order to being OK with it I have to make a plan to write more or accept that I will write once in a while. This is a choice, as pretty much every thing in life is.
At the end of 2015 I started to ask myself a lot of questions of the type of programmer I want do be, what is my definition of happiness, what I want to achieve and so on. I think that everybody keeps thinking that stuff when we beggin a new cycle.
It is hard to analyze stuff like that when your mind is not really working well. I have chronic anxiety and at that time I was in the middle of a depression crisis. So I had to ask things and look for answers that were parts of who I am.
What I really know about me didn’t change:
– I am a simple person. Seriously, I don’t need much to be happy. I don’t dream of being rich and stuff.
– I start to love programming for its capacity to impact the world solving problems. I love how dynamic our world is. Things change fast and if you stop, then you’ll be behind.
I don’t want to be an entrepreneur and I don’t imagine myself in a job that I don’t feel connected, or that I don’t have a identification with the company trusts. I don’t imagine myself working on a software factory. I also don’t imagine myself working on Brazil’s public service. This path is safer and less dynamic and I feel that good people follow this path just to accommodate themselves and that is not what I aim.
Our world in technology is vast. I spend a large amount of time terrified of not knowing what to do. What have helped me through the way was question myself these questions and have a better understanding of who I am.